he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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