Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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