Only a mothe r could love this liver
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
