This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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