this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
