Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
