I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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