If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
