Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
