Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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