would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
