Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
