girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
