I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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