Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
