That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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