I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
