5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize