Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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