What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
