Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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