It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
