Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
