shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
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I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
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I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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