You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
