"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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