i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize