dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
