i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
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I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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