when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
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I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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