Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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