You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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