So drunk its hurt
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
