I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize