remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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