it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
