Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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