You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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