im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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