Me too!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
