i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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