my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
