I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
