My liver just broke up with me...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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