Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?