Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem

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  (636): The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem http://tfl.nu/u45p
  Replies (26) Good night (1366) Bad night (798)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.

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  (602): I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/z2qj
  Replies (28) Good night (4570) Bad night (742)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..

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  (843): so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor.. http://tfl.nu/qi2l
  Replies (30) Good night (886) Bad night (12839)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

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  (917): Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him http://tfl.nu/5c6r
  Replies (144) Good night (17976) Bad night (3132)
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  (714): View more from California

  We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now

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  (714): We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now http://tfl.nu/h0c8
  Replies (9) Good night (3423) Bad night (929)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party

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  (814): there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party http://tfl.nu/p535
  Replies (17) Good night (5859) Bad night (695)
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  (714): View more from California

  so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?

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  (714): so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"? http://tfl.nu/sml3
  Replies (20) Good night (4956) Bad night (1357)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?

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  (732): Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra? http://tfl.nu/estf
  Replies (10) Good night (2785) Bad night (756)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.

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  (719): As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF. http://tfl.nu/ti4u
  Replies (3) Good night (1310) Bad night (683)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!

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  (917): SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME! http://tfl.nu/punt
  Replies (6) Good night (2304) Bad night (1159)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?

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  (520): Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight? http://tfl.nu/4mcq
  Replies (3) Good night (928) Bad night (408)
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  (760): View more from California

  This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful

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  (760): This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful http://tfl.nu/eznx
  Replies (1) Good night (565) Bad night (385)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage

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  (774): Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage http://tfl.nu/jljf
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (354)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.

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  (512): Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now. http://tfl.nu/zy0d
  Replies (6) Good night (486) Bad night (583)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.

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  (205): I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices. http://tfl.nu/j09c
  Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (778)

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