She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
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"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that