He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Why is your signature on my underwear?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.