Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus

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(208): View more from Idaho

all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.

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(352): View more from Florida

I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex

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(586): View more from Michigan

I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.

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(432): View more from Texas

I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....

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