I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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