I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
