Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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