hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
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The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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