that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
