Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize