Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize