It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
