No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
